The Wrong Turn to Jealousville

“Mom, why don’t we have golden hair?” One of my girls asked me.
“God made us with hair the color of chocolate,” I replied back with a smile. “Why do you ask?”
“I wish I had golden hair,” she said, sadly.
“Blonde hair is beautiful,” I agreed. “And I LOVE your gorgeous hair too.” I reached out and stroked it. “In fact, I love to admire the many, many beautiful ways that others are different from me. Do you know someone with blonde hair that you admire?”

The answer, of course, was yes. There were many in fact: pop stars, and movie characters, tv personalities and several friends. But as she listed out the names, I could see a sad flicker in my daughter’s inner light. I don’t know where or how the message of inferiority had developed, but, despite my best efforts, there it was. *I see in others that which makes me feel bad about myself.*

The truth is that as we grow, we learn that some things are easily changeable. You like blonde? You can go blonde. But when our perspective on the world is one of comparison, lack, and envy, there can never be enough change in the outter world to make us feel as valuable as we truly are.

So, today in SKOOL we are discussing our God-given duty to stay true to our own path. Our potential is different from every other person that IS, ever WAS, or ever WILL BE. And yet we live in a culture that suggests that success in life means aiming for and achieving a preset standard dreamt up by a small consensus. Everything from the way we look, to what we wear, to how we navigate through life is compared against standards that were built around the visions of others.

It’s easy to forget that we came here to self-express. The sunflower doesn’t waste time lamenting over how inadequate she is as a rose. If she did, we would likely never see her in her full sunflower glory. And so I believe it is with us.

When I’m admiring someone and I notice that my good feelings turn to bad that’s my signal that I’ve moved out of admiration…and into jealousy. You know jealousy. It’s that prickly, disempowering emotion that keeps us from being happy for others because their good makes us feel less valuable, more deficient somehow.

This emotion may signal that we are too focused on the journey of another and not enough on what we may uniquely contribute to the world. Perhaps this is best illustrated by a recent study which showed that “surveillance usage” of Facebook (going to Facebook to spy on others rather than sharing the user’s own pictures and news) increased feelings of envy and depression. So, perhaps we withhold our digital “reactions” or, worse, use the carefully crafted highlight reels of our community members to decide that our own lives will never measure up.

Since we are all energy bodies, wanting less for others or using their wins to criticize our own perceived shortcomings only creates blocks to our own best in life. Better to let the full expression of others signify the beautiful possibilities in our own walk, let their successes remind us to keep working and believing in the best life has to offer…and then gratefully return to our own path. There is far more reward in that than molding our path to meet the changing whims of society. We are all valuable, each in our own way.

How sweet it was to hear my girl tell me how much she just loves the way her hair looks with her favorite color, red. And for that she wouldn’t change a thing. 😊❤️💁🏽

Today, bless those you admire, and let your kids hear you doing it. Get excited that something even more personally satisfying is in your life’s plan than anything you’ve ever witnessed. Then, go get it!

👍❤️ If you trust that YOUR best is on YOUR path, please “LOVE,” COMMENT, and SHARE. And for more actionable insights in optimal living for kids and their “big people” please follow our Super Kids of Optimal Living (SKOOL) @ChiefExecutiveMomma. 😊🙏

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